[Twelfth] 2009!!

Happy new year everyone!! Okay, actually I am not a single bit excited about 2009. Looks weird and not a very nice number. I have a particular "feel" for numbers. Any number that has a 9 in it looks horrible except if:

1. It comes in pairs - 99
2. It has at least one even number touching it - 3194, 2917
3. When I say it is nice, it is. Refer to CHW's Rulebook [COMING SOON] :P

Looks like no one answered my little question so too bad. No tauhuay for anyone.

2009, a new year, a new experience for me in JC. OH MAN!!!

[Random interruption: Girly man!! You can youtube for this. It is retarded and hilarious :D]

Yes, JC. I hope it's not too much tougher. My head hurts whenever I think about this. Time for a story!!!



`*~.+The Oily Beauty+.~*`

Once upon a time, there lived a princess named Auroar. (Not a typo error) Her father and her mother, the king and the mother doted on her. When she was born, they specially asked 3 fairy godmother to bless her.

The first fairy godmother gave the baby girl a very beautiful name, Aurora. However, when she was penning the name down into the book of records, she spelt Aurora wrongly and she didn't have correction tape with her so her name became Auroar [Pronounced: o-ROOAARRR!!!!] The fairy godmother think that it was such a unique name so she disappeared into dust with a smile on her face.

The second fairy godmother was rather disappointed at the first fairy godmother for giving her such a weird name, so she wished that the first fairy godmother died. Well, her wish did came true, however what was written in the book of records was not changed. She also broke a law of killing a supernatural creature in Chapter:2, part MLCXVI, line 56-89 so she got a death penalty. In other words, she is dead. She was being cooked in a cauldron and served to the royalties. FYI: This was Auroar's first meal and she thought that it was beef and tasted too oily.

When the third fairy godmother wanted to bless the newborn princess, the country's most evil witch arrived in a limo. She even brought the reporters with her.

"I am rushing for a meeting in 30 minutes. So I shall make it snappy. Your cute little princess shall become very Very VERY hideous when she grows up. HAHAHA" After that, the reporters rushed in, pushing all the palace guards on the floor. They were asking all sorts of questions, including those that were totally unrelated to what had just happened. For example one asked, "Did the witch's face become so black because she fell down one day and her face was full of blue-blacks and didn't quite recover?"

The king and queen were so annoyed that they asked the third fairy godmother to chase all the reporters away. The king and queen pleaded with the third fairy godmother to bless the princess so that she wouldn't become ugly in the future. However, the third fairy godmother was very angry (the first fairy godmother was her best friend and was angry that the second fairy godmother killed her) so she cursed the princess that she will be f**ked. After that, she threw the star on her wand towards Auroar which burnt her skin.

--15 Years Later--

Auroar looked rather pleasant. She had long black hair which flowed down her shoulder. Her skin was fair and glowing, her eyes were so bright it could shoot laser beams that kill, her lips were are red as cherries and she was so slim that she could dodge the raindrops.

The king and queen thought that Auroar was mature enough to accept that she was going to be ugly so during dinner time, they told her about the evil witch's spell and the curse of the third fairy godmother.

The princess was drinking peas and carrot soup that night. When she heard about the news, she choked on her peas and carrots. She was coughing them out in a rather unsightly manner. A very strange phenomenon occurred as she coughed. When she coughed once, a pimple popped out of her face. When she coughed another time, another pimple popped out. She coughed a total of 2351 times before she settled down.

Well, actually she never did settle down because she became ugly in an instance!! She ran into her room and cried for 3 whole days without sleep. When she stop crying and has calmed down, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen (which made her even look uglier) and she hated it so she boxed her eyes until it was bright again. However, IT WAS SHINY BLACK (blue-black on her eye. How sad) and when the doctor came into her room to check on her, he said that her eyes would permanently be greyish-black because she sucks.

Of course, Auroar was in a state of depression. She was bathing, trying to scrub off all the pimples on her face. She cried for a few days without eating or drinking so she grabbed her shampoo bottle and wanted to drink it. "Oh, this lovely bottle of mine does not contain water? How stupid of me to drink it down!" [Failed attempt of suicide] She thought that the shower hose would have water so she drank it. What she did not know is that the water isn't clean.

She got attacked by some water-borne virus which made her fall into a deep deep sleep. To cure the virus, only one solution: Find a prince and make him kiss her. But hey, SHE'S UGLY. WHO WANTS HER? ANYONE?

Auroar was lucky because she was already betrothed to Prince Chaota when she was very young. And so after a few months of travelling, the prince finally arrived at Auroar's bedside. You could say that the prince was really reluctant to kiss her, because his face was turning green (They are high-tech now. The prince is like a cyborg and the face can change colour like those retarded dogs which change colour when they hear different genres of music.) But then, the prince seriously had no choice whether he wants to kiss her as his parents stared at him and said that he could only marry her or live a life of a monk. HE SHOULD HAVE CHOSEN THE LATTER, but his heart is made of gold (literally... remember he's a cyborg?)

So he stepped up to her bed, sat beside the sleeping princess and pondered whether the curse will be released when he kissed her. His lips touched hers. He lifted his head to see the princess' face. Her eyes were closed. There was no sign that she waas going to wake up. The prince initial thought came true. She didn't awaken. The prince was so disappointed. He had to wake her up by all means. If not he will seriously become a monk. He still wants to have his many girlfriends and *ahem*. So he swayed his hand and concentrated, transfering all his qi to her body.

Her eyelids battered. She was finally concious!! Immediate thought of the prince: PORN. He smiled to himself. The princess saw the blissful look on his face and misunderstood it as the prince kissed her out of love. EPIC GROSSNESS >< Then out of goodwill, the prince wanted to lift the princess up so he could hug her. Unexpectedly, when his hand clutched her shoulders and tried to lift her up, her whole body slipped off his hands!!! He screamed. There was oil all over his hands. "This is seriously digusting! EWWW~~~~! Her oil glands are way too active already! OMG!" the prince exclaimed with shock and horror all written on his face. He teleported (only for short distances) to the toilet and then paused for a while (He hasn't washed his hands yet) Eureka! He had this fantastic idea that, the oil produced from the princess can be used to oil the gears inside him! He took a spoon, scrapped off some oil from her body and applied it onto his body.

With such relationship with one another, they got married soon after. Everyday, he would use her oil to lubricate his machine and she still idolizes him because he kissed her. Love blossomed between the both of them and they live happily ever after. The end :D

BONUS READ:
Auroar Haiku
She is not pretty
Neither is she a hot babe
But Prince married her.


Okay people. I going to leave this. I will continue the story as soon as possible. Hope you have enjoyed it so far (:

[UPDATE ON 100309: I completed the story, but the ending was kind of crappy because I am super sian already.]